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Supernatural: House of the Holy

An angel of God came down and told this one lady to stab this dude in the heart. The Supernatural boys think there is more to it than that. And Dean decided to test out the Magic Fingers of their cheep hotel room. I have not seen one of these beds in reality. Has anyone else?

Dean doesn’t believe in angels. Which is odd, because he deals with demons all the time. That’s the weirdest skepticism I’m ever heard.

11 minutes in and there haven’t been any credits yet. This episode is getting all Veronica Mars length on us.

Another angel, another knife through the heart. These angels are all into this vigilantly justice. You can’t really get orders handed down from any higher than God, I guess. I wonder how the CEO of the universe feels about his earnings report for Q4 of 2006.

First knife heart victim was a serial killer. The second one was a pedophile. These angels are making some good calls.

Ahhh. Got it. The victims went to the same Catholic church. So the priest hears these sins and sends out “angels” or something to get these parishioners That tricky little devil. I mean, trick little….errrr. Something.

Now Sam saw an angle. Oh Sammy. Nothing good will come from this.

The old priest had been murdered. So the new priest is using the old priest as an angel.

Sam, tricked by Dean, is doing a séance for the dead priest while Dean goes after Sam’s mark. I guess the new priest wasn’t involved at all. Sorry for mistrusting you, new priest. I trust anything new, because I’m 90 years old.

Dean stopped the rapist. Sam is settling this dead priest down. He’s all hopped up on something. Power and starched clothing, probably.

And the rapist? He got impaled by a shaft. How ironic.


Supernatural: Night Shifter

SupernaturalAt least Supernatural is new, even if The Office isn’t.

It looks like our boys got themselves into a bit of bank robbing trouble somehow. When in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, take a brewery tour and rob a bank.

A bank and a jewelry store had been hit by employees of these places in the last two weeks. Then the employee who pulled the crime went home and committed suicide. Allegedly.

Some large hairy fellow thinks the robbers are actually shape shifting robots. Mandroids, he calls them. Our FBI spoofing lads told him he was imagining things, while confiscating his evidence.

It’s actually a shape shifter. You may or may not remember the shape shifter that turned into Dean and framed him for murder.

Too bad Large Hairy went crazy and decided to hold everyone in a bank hostage. Never trust Large Hairy. Unless he’s Hurley.

Dean, the smooth talker that he is, calms Large Hairy down. Large Hair insists on locking everyone in the vault while he and Dean search for shape shifters.

I’m recapping a lot. I should stop that and make some light hearted comments. Maybe about girth. No, that’s too easy and mean.

Hostage situation. Snipers shooting Large Hairy. Shape shifter on the loose. This is wonderfully tense and claustrophobic. There is also the dry as talcum humor in this show, which always lays a nice underlying tone.

The FBI showed up. The real FBI. And they know all about Dean and Sam. Even Papa Whinny. Things just got more tense. More tenser. Tenserer.

This shape shifter is a tricky little dude. And now the SWAT team is inside. But Dean stabbed the shape shifter and Sam got an idea from the shape shifter. Or from The Professional. Anyway, I’m sure they’re going to steal some SWAT outfits and sneak out.

They did exactly what I expected. That calls for some peanut butter M&Ms!


Supernatural: Playthings

SupernaturalThis episode of Supernatural is sponsored once again by that fantastic lady, Wendy Horton, for the good folks over at Supernatual.tv.

We start out in a creepy inn full of creepy dolls and that creepy girl from The 4400. Dolls kind of freak me out. Their dead eyes and their constant need to go to the bathroom. I think it all stems from a Twilight Zone episode I saw when I was young and a creepy painting of Raggedy Ann and Andy in my grandparents house. Dolls suck.

The inn keeper thinks Sam and Dean are gay. For each other. That’s good fun. I wonder how Isaiah Washington would have reacted to the situation.

Our supernatural hunters are checking out the inn for hoodoo. Hoodoo is traditional African folk magic. It is not voodoo. Hoodoo is like voodoo without the religious aspect. They are both complete nonsense. But also very creepy.

Then a doll hung itself. Then a man hung himself. These events are probably unrelated and should be ignored and dismissed.

All of a sudden, Sam is drunk as a skunk. He was sad that he couldn’t save the hanging man. He’s probably a little bit upset about the hanging doll too. That’s only because he’s drunk and doesn’t realize that dolls aren’t living creatures.

Did I mention there is an old lady who lives in the attic? That probably isn’t important. The grannie also had a hoodoo necklace wearing nanny when she was a girl. Also unimportant. Mark my words.

Ah ha ha! The creepy The 4400 girl is “imaginary.” Told you it wasn’t attic lady. That would have been too obvious. The obvious makes me angry.

Playground equipment playing with itself? Run, idiot! Sorry to resort to harsh name calling, but you obviously aren’t easy to reason with.

Old lady was using good hoodoo to keep evil girl spirit away. Then she had a stroke, and the hoodoo protection was lost. Now creepy spirit, who is actually old lady’s dead sister, is trying to get real little girl to drown herself. So there will be two lonely spirits trapped in the inn, not one.

Old stroke lady gave her life to save her granddaughter. It wouldn’t be a real big sacrifice, considering her quality of life, but I imagine she’s stuck in the inn forever now. Then again, they have a pool. If you’re going to be forever trapped somewhere, it might as well have a pool.

I miss taxis that look like taxis instead of plain old cars.


Supernatural: Hunted

SupernaturalThis viewing of Supernatural is sponsored by Wendy Horton with a shoutout to the good folks at Supernatural.tv. Wendy probably sponsored tonight so Scrubs fans can’t sponsor the evening over Supernatural again. Huzzah! What am I saying? I never say huzzah.

I’m really excited to be watching Supernatural again. Even though I don’t believe in the supernatural. Isn’t that weird? I think it’s weird.

Someone who I was probably supposed to just got murdered. Wait, Dean is going to tell Sam what Papa Winny whispered before he died. If Dean can’t save Sam, he has to kill him.

Dean asked Sam to lay low while they figured everything out. Sam promptly stole a car and drove to a burnt out house. The we got all exploded by a grenade. But it was just a dream. Someone else’s dream! There’s a neat twist. You don’t have the monopoly on future dreams anymore Sam!

The guy from the beginning who got opened up was a psychic mother-killed-by-demon fellow just like Sam. No worries. Girl with Sam blow-up dream came and saved Sam. I have a feeling she isn’t the only girl dreaming about Sam. Rawr.

Sam and girl stole dead open chest fellow’s psych tape recording. And who is trying to murder these future soldiers of the devil? None other than our jerky vampire killing friend whose name I forgot. Not that the vampires were jerks. He was a jerk.

The jerk captured Dean. We’ll just call him Hunter, since that’s what he does. He’s going to blow up Sam with a grenade. I remember that from somewhere. Oh yeah! Earlier!

The explosions happened. But did they get Sam? There is his shoe. And there is fully put together Sam. That means only one thing. Fist fight, Western style! Aww, no one slid along the bar, and then their head went through a wall, and then they saw the burlesque dancers changing. Ahhhh, Westerns. Oh, and no swinging from chandlers.

The cops came and captured Hunter with his car full of weapons. Good work, Sammy Winny. No one dies. At least we got to see what it would be like if someone exploded. It would be messy.

Whoop. Looks like Girl’s fiance was murdered in his sleep by a demon. Or the girl. Or the demon took the girl and murdered the guy. Either I’m stupid and missed it, or we’ll find out on another episode. Guess we’ll have to keep tuning in.


Supernatural: The Usual Suspects

Supernatural has a lot to live up to, since last week’s episode was so fantastic.

Sam and Dean are in police custody! For credit card fraud, breaking and entering, and even murder. Oh no, this had better not be a bunch of talking in interrogation rooms.

So Dean is the only one suspected of murder. That’s because a shape shifter took his form and murdered a bunch of people. That explanation probably won’t fly. If the shed skin of a shape shifting monster don’t fit, you must acquit.

Whew, the interrogation room scenes are spliced with S(am and D)ean investigating the murder of their dad’s friend by a ghost. Maybe it is Ghost Dad, who could kill with his shockingly low box office records.

This show is scary! The ghost that murdered the older gentleman just murdered his daughter. Closets should not be stepped into when there is a ghost after you.

Also, if your printer starts printing nonsense? Don’t check to see what it says. Keep on moving. And all the sinks start spurting out boiling hot water? Maybe you don’t really need to wash your hands right now.

Sam escaped, and one of the lady cops saw the ghost, so they are working together. She’s a little freaked out, to say the least. They must join forces to solve this mystery! Sam and lady! Go, Sady!

The found the ghost lady’s body, with a little help from the ghost. Now it is a simple step to burn and salt the body to put it at rest…wait wait. It’s wearing a necklace. Obviously, they can’t burn the body just yet. I mean, a necklace!

The ghost isn’t a vengeful spirit. She is a death warning. She is trying to warn people before their deaths. The ghost wants justice.

Ghost Justice: In COLOUR!!!

Sady’s partner, not the Dean partner, is the one doing all the killing. And now, Dean is next. Driving him out to the middle of nowhere for more than the fresh country air.

Remember all of those things I told you to avoid? Those are warning signs. Pay very close attention. Then sit down and talk to the ghost. Serve it tea. Ask it to tell you stories.

With the evil partner shot down, the Sady partnership is dissolved. Sean walks into the sunset. Everybody’s happy.


Supernatural: No Exit

SupernaturalI think the CW finally figured out how to market Supernatural. The previews for this episode looked really scary. Well done, lads in the marketing department. Keep it up.

And black goo is dripping into a girl’s new apartment. Then she disappears. This happens to young blond women in this Philadelphia apartment complex about every decade. They conveniently keep that out of the lease. And the black stuff was ectoplasm. You need to be a really angry spirit to make that stuff.

To complicate matters, the flirty blond daughter of the Roadhouse owner has tagged along. The Roadhouse is where “hunters” go to take a load off.

Blondie and Dean found a little prize in the building’s vent. It was a clump of long blond hair. Oh, with a nice piece of scalp attached. What a treat! That is like when two M&Ms come stuck together.

Then another blond girl from the apartment got grabbed. By a scary hand. Through a grate. It is not a ninja turtle.

The creepy apartment building was built on a creepy lot that was used to hang people from the creepy prison next door. The spirit haunting this particular apartment complex? H. H. Holmes, one of America’s first serial killers. Interesting, no? Yes. Check this out:

H. H. Holmes managed to secure a Chicago pharmacy by defrauding and eventually murdering the pharmacist and his family, and built a block-long, three-story building on the lot across the street. Neighbors called this building “The Castle”. Holmes opened it as a hotel for the World’s Columbian Exposition in 1893, using the rest of the structure for shops he rented. The bottom floor of the Castle contained these shops (one a jeweler, for example), his personal office, and the upper floors a maze of over one hundred windowless rooms with doorways that would open to brick walls, stairways to nowhere, doors that could only be opened from the outside, and a host of other maze-like constructions. Over a period of three years, Holmes selected female victims from among his employees, lovers, or hotel’s guests, and tortured them in soundproof and escapeproof chambers fitted with gas lines that permitted Holmes to asphyxiate the women at any time.

Holmes grabbed Jo, the blond lassie, while she was crawling around in the walls looking for the other missing women. As tempting it may be and as lonely as you may be, fellas, don’t crawl around in the walls to find women. It will only end badly.

A few blond girls, including Jo, are trapped in the basement. Well, not the basement. There is no basement. Holmes had to settle for the old abandoned sewer chambers below. If I had a nickel for every time I had to settle for an old abandoned sewer chamber, I’d be rich.

Eeee! We just got to see HH’s creepy teeth and grisly mustache. Then he was stabbed by a pure iron knife. Good to know. There are so many good tips in this show!

Then the fellas and Jo trapped H. H. forever within a ring of rock salt. But that isn’t good enough. Sam and Dean combine together to form cement pouring Sean! Able to encase age old mass murderers in a single pour!

It turns out dead pop pop John Winchester got Jo’s father killed on a hunt. And there is your little bit of continuing plot for the episode.

Overall, possible the best episode of Supernatural that I have seen. If you are not watching this show, you are missing out.


Supernatural: Simon Said

SupernaturalSupernatural brings the real horror to the Halloween season. No Great Pumpkin bull here.

An older and portly doctor got a phone call. Suddenly, he buys a gun and shoots the gun store owner. Then he does himself in. Sean saw this in one of his crazy visions. It hasn’t happened yet, but it could.

Ben Edlund, creator of The Tick, wrote this episode. He wrote the Jaynestown episode of Firefly too. So if my calculations are correct, Ben Edlund rocks!

After a quick trip to the Roadhouse and a spin of REO Speedwagon on the jukebox, Sean is on the road again with a lead.

When Sean has visions, they are of people who have been touched by the demon, like himself. This demon gives these fellas power, like the ability to make friends and influence people. For example, this young mind controller got Sean to cheerfully give up his car. All the while, Sean followed the doctor and stopped his shooting spree. Instead, the doctor got hit by a bus.

The mind controlling kid the boys are after? He isn’t the one killing people with his mind. There is another mind out there that will cause a middle aged lady to douse herself with gasoline and calmly light herself with her car’s cigarette lighter. Whoever the murderer is, they hate their elders.

The lady who burnt was the mind controller’s mother. The doctor who died delivered him. You see, mind control was adopted. And he has a twin! An evil twin with mind control powers!

The evil twin, with no eye patch but with a goatee, was ready to kill the good twin’s girlfriend. Now it time for a twin battle! Oh, the good one shot the bad one in the back. That was simple.

That was an okay episode. I was hoping for more twin hijinks, even it they were only fraternal.


Supernatural: Bloodlust

SupernaturalSupernatural never starts out in a boring way. A girl in the woods gets decapitated by a scythe? Good times!

For those of you who are bound to complain, Sam plus Dean equals Sean. I will continue to say “Sean” even if you don’t like it.

This episode deals with vampires. Those are the fun guys and girls that drink blood.

Sean loves to pretend. First they were reporters, the next moment they are doctors. Do they even want to be demon hunters?

The girl that was decapitated? It was one of those fun boys and girls that like to drink blood. That means she was a vampire. She was probably killed for unrelated reasons. Like gambling or sending inappropriate messages to congressional pages.

Did I mention that Sean has a new set of wheels? They’re showing it to their new vampire hunting friend, Gordon.

This episode is getting nice and grisly. Industrial chain saws are a very messy way to decapitate someone or something.

Sean isn’t too happy with Sean having so much fun killing that vampire. Sean and their new friend are having fun while Sean goes back to the motel.

And just after Sean got warned that they shouldn’t hang around their new friend Gordon, he gets jumped by a bunch of vampires. Even after he was the responsible one and went back to the motel. Never go back to the motel. Either you’re going to get jumped by vampires or you will spend too much on soiled sheets.

As it turns out, these local vampires just want peace. They drink cow’s blood and leave the locals alone. That means Gordon has been murdering them simply out of revenge, not out of necessity. But if you murder out of necessity, it isn’t really murder anymore. It is self preservation or a pre-emptive strike. That is all totally defendable, right? I need to know, so I can kill this dude who looks at me funny.

Gordon hunts vampires because they took his sister. Then he killed his sister because she was a vampire. That’s cold.

These Cingular “Push to Talk” commercials make me want to kill myself.

Sean beat up Gordon and tied him up while Sean got the nice vampire lady to safety. It is time for Sean to drive into the sunrise, leaving Gordon to be untied by someone at a later date. I have a feeling that they haven’t seen the last of this angry angry vampire hunter.




Make Me Watch TV © 2008 Aric McKeown. All rights reserved. I am not responsible for the content of external sites.