This evening my television viewing was ham-handedly picked by actor, director, and screenwriter David Wain.
David Wain wrote and directed the cult favorite Wet Hot American Summer, helped MTV on its crusade to show less music videos with The State, and most recently co-starred, co-wrote, and co-caine. Sorry, I mean cocaine. Sorry, I mean co-directed Stella on Comedy Central last year.
In future news, Stella comes out on DVD September 12th, and David is currently working on a movie called The Ten, which he wrote and directed. It also allows him to get deliciously close to Jessica Alba. Did I say deliciously? I meant abstemiously close to Jessica Alba. Or, if you are a lady, Paul Rudd.
I highly recommend anything David Wain has done. Go out and buy it, see it, steal it, or cry yourself to sleep in its arms. Until that happens, I have some TV that needs watch!
The first order of business, as detailed by David Wain, is to watch Blue Collar TV while drinking a wine cooler. I have selected a Seagram’s Strawberry Lime Passion Passionate Kiss, the most girly wine cooler I could find.
Tonight’s theme on Blue Collar TV is violence. The first “sketch” was about Taser Tag, where a family tagged each other with tasers. Remember when zapping your family members was funny in the first season of The Simpsons? I do. The announcer for the fake commercial also made fart noises for no reason. That makes too much sense.
Larry the Cable Guy is now commenting on road construction. The crowd loves the material I have heard one thousand times before in one thousand different places. He was commenting on the “Slow” signs that construction workers carry around. He wonders if, perhaps, that is a commentary on themselves. Hahaha, what a witty observation! Every kid thinks up that joke, just about the same time they “invent” Communism.
There is a lot of getting hit in the nards on this show. It’s true, but I really just wanted to write “nards.”
This wine cooler is terrible! It complements the show perfectly.
Coming to you this Wednesday, the third in the continuing series that is Celebrity Remote. Our third channel surfer is actor, director, and screenwriter, David Wain.
Where have you heard that name before? Perhaps you caught The State when it was on MTV 13 years ago. Did you, by chance, see the wonderfully absurd movie, Wet Hot American Summer, which was written and directed by Wain? Then maybe, just maybe, you caught Stella on Comedy Central last year.
Seriously, you must have seen him in one of those places. Look, I’m telling you, you have seen him before. Quit arguing with me. We’re both working towards the same goal, this bickering will get us nowhere. We should just sit back and enjoy the scheduled that David picked out for me this Wednesday.
Wednesday, July 12, 2006 – exactly 24 years and one month since my bar mitzvah.
7 PM – BLUE COLLAR TV – WUCW (8) – This is great because it’s like, “you know you’re a redneck if…” and then all hell breaks loose from there. Please drink a wine cooler during this broadcast.
7:30 – 2nd half of Countdown with Keith Olberman MSNBC – he’s the best! Like Jon Stewart but a little more serious – and super smart – LOVE HIM.
8:00 – Tour De France (68) – Watch a half hour of the biking. These guys have hot legs. Pumping the pedals. Round the corners. Muscles wet with sweat. Oh dammit I just jacked my spoo. Oy.
8:30 – So You Think You Can Dance – (9) – 2nd half – the only part that really counts. Please try to imitate the dance moves you see on TV. And dress for movement. Bowel movement. Just kidding about the bowel part. But not the movement part.
Make Me Watch TV © 2008 Aric McKeown. All rights reserved. I am not responsible for the content of external sites.