It was a very close battle for the 7pm hour today. Survivor: Panama-Exile Island was tied with Walker, Texas Ranger and La Fea Más Bella. In the case of a tie, I get to choose the winner. Of course, I chose to watch Survivor: Panama-Exile Island with my wife. You folks need to get it together. One more vote would have clinched it for either show. Get your friends to vote next time. Okay? Alright.

Last time we saw the survivors, Bruce had left the show due to an abundance of poop. My only hope for this episode is to see some crazy psycho Shane goodness.

How soon my wishes are answered! Shane found a piece of wood that looks like a Blackberry. Now he is texting people not on the island. That is fantastic! That is how insanity is supposed to work! Okay, Survivor gods. My next wish is that something bad happen to Shane’s “Blackberry” and he goes on a witch hunt to find who did it.

Yet another Survivor challenge we have seen a million times. The survivors are clipped to a rope and must wind their way through an obstacle course. Hey, “a gust of wind.” “I will wind the rope.” Why are wind and wind spelled the same? Lazy dictionary people.

Now they are doing another challenge for a car. No one who has won the car has won Survivor. That does not interest me. What interests me is they are doing the “slingshot to break plates” challenge they have done every season. Come up with an original game! I will blame it on host Jeff Probst. You can only make one anagram from Jeff’s name. Jeff PBS rot. Huh. It isn’t much of an anagram if one of their names stays the same.

My name as an anagram? I’m a crow neck.

Terry, the pilot, just said “we were airplaned off the island.” Airplaned off? Good work with your lingo, pilot.

You don’t hear the word “bosom” too often these days. But you know what? Cirie has a huge bosom. She doesn’t have breasts or a chest. That is a bosom. It weirds me out.

They are doing a challenge where you have to hold on to ropes above your head that are attached to X percent of your body weight. I think this challenge is just to show us how much armpit hair the ladies have grown.

Terry just won his fourth straight immunity challenge. He also has his hidden immunity idol. Terry has a car and immunity. Do you know what he does not have? A Blackberry. Shane will always have that to hold over him.

Blah blah blah, lots of boring talk until they get to the vote.

Annoying Courtney got voted off. As long as that leaves crazy Shane, I am a happy lad. Let’s see him text message his way out of this broken alliance situation.